House on fire

In the shallow ,still waters of his heart a house was being constructed. A safe haiven. Venice showed us ,that a house can stand on water.

With no construction guidelines and safety measures put in place , it was just a house built with passion and the dream to have someone to lay thy head.

The foundation for it was on aqua, very stable for its given time, attention and care.

The imagination of the finished product , would be the glitter in his eyes, the spark that dreams comes from , the unimaginable positivity of a grand and fulfilling conclusion .

The house was complete all that was left was the tenant, for you dont build a house that no one will live in.

A special place in the heart of those still waters, where if you were to catch a glimpse from the back of the house , youd see soo much floating wood.

Trials that never made it to the roofing , some made it but the mistakes in the foundation made them crumble after a time . The most important thing in a house is the foundation, they say and he made this one with that experience in mind.

As the tenant moved in and was ready to put her things inside. She had a change of mind, cold feet is the phrase. Left the gas on and windows open .

Oxygen in high supply, a spark tringering her shared dream with the lonesome waters extinguished , she didn’t look back As the light dimmed in his eyes.

But i built that house for you. This was our dream , the place beyond the pines where we would sit on the porch with a blanket, accompanied by tales of last and yet as we quietly lean towards each other while we look upon the lake of still waters.

As the smoke dissipates ,the timber lumbering away ,his house sinking into the abyss and with his head on his hands he concludes , “just another black hole disguised as a supernova.”

Baby im your house on fire.

A translucent moon .

Feet planted on the ground, a yawn that stems from her diaphragm as her hands keep steady on her knees , her roots on the tiles as they deliver an icy shock through out her sleep deprived body.

Aagg , its morning. Another monday to boot.

Around this area we don’t, hear the birds singing , we hear tunes and horns from the local transport. Aaah the wake-up and come bring me your money authorities .

” tao tao , wale waliopewa kazi hapa . Wanne gari isonge , ya kuhepa jam. ” the first greeting i get when i open up my window. Wish i could say windows.

Modern day woman they said. “Adulting will be fun , you’ll have alot of freedom and space for yourself” they said .

Well you know how it turns out dont you . SCAM!!

With curly natural hair ,well done eye brows, round glasses , soft pinkish eye shadow to showcase her bold enticing eyes, what a beautiful maiden (damn), a mask for covid , a trench coat for the cold , a bag for lunch and a bit of bitten up thumb nails for the anxiety .

This is a self sufficient woman .

Cinderella man .

There once was a man, (the title kinda gave it away , irris what irris).

This man was always in a constant state of perpetual motion, with his beliefs on one hand , big mouth on the other and a uncanny retention of information. Basically a self proclaimed perfect homosapien.

Some called him a ‘hero’ ,others said he was full of sh*t (aren’t we all). Some ladies even said ,he had the ability to get audacity.

Walking around with the perception that he was God’s gift to man, he had one rule, which was, never to sire offspring. For the world already had him , another would be too much.

On this gloomy, teeth grinding , hot shower, brass monkey weather , he walks around with a black pull neck accompanied with a gold chain and a long trench coat ,(my guy out here looking like Wesley Snipes). The only things missing is a buzz cut , shady sunglasses, leather pants and a sword to fit the bill ,like the animals in the Kenyan currency .

“Im afraid our time is up , shall we continue from there next week.”

I node in agreement but with a sense of doubt . Knowing even when you pay to be listened to , there’s always a condition involved.

All this from a therapist’s couch.

To be continued.

Bench of thought.

Its a warm and breezy day, the kind that lifts sun dresses in the summer. As the wind goes about its way from the seas through the land then the next sea, a man is sitted on a park bench watching the blue sky. This is a man with alot of time on his hands.

They say the best things in life are free, what do you think?

As he gazes upwards with his shades on to protect his eyes from the somewhat glaring sun, you’d think he is on a staring contest with the big orange mass of gases in the sky of which he is definitely losing.

What is he thinking about ? Well what do you think about late at night, in your bed, all alone, in your mid 20’s still living with your parents.

It’s the root of all evil. The thing we invented as man and chase after it for most of our lives.

Money.

But he had already finished that fantasy. Onto the next one , the one that he actually cared about. The fantasy that he would like to manifest into reality.

In this day and erra what he is thinking about, people make fun of it. It’s not something people crave for anymore nor respect. It’s basically Donald trump.

A yawn of choices.

Hopped out of bed, looked in the mirror and said to myself ,” yow , my G , do we really have to go to work today?”.

We all know that voice of “reason” we always get that pushes us. That lady stepped in.( Mine is a lady , dont judge me.) ” You are broke, stop looking at the mirror ,go shower and leave.” Damn she’s truthfully cruel.

Went back to bed and did what we all do . Fiddled with my phone.

Let’s get up again shall we.

Woke up early in the morning , fatigued and I’m yawning , pockets empty, so I’m braising for a day in the lines of tiring with a morning full of doubts of happiness.

Its 5am , but tomorrow is another day.

A good lay

Its quiet, deep silence looms large while the air is pure and crisp, the temperature is just perfect, the solitude is even more exhilarating and its wide open, so much space… Too dark to see her fingers but She stretches out, and what a wonderful feeling. This must be how a black hole feels like, she might have just discovered the mystery that plagues the scientific community.

As her eyes remain stagnant without blinking or wondering about, she starts to see sparks, not the type you see in the morning when the sunlight hits your eyes as your mother opens your curtains in a deliberate attempt to get you going.

No this is something more , something special, something selfish. “tranquillity ” if i may say so myself.. She follows the twinkling , shape shifting lights with her fingers and a big smile on her face..

Another one down the hatch, another pill to pop open the gates.

It gets more intense, and she couldn’t be happier, calmer or free as she is at this moment.

This is the best thing ever, damn what they said in school, they just judged what they did not know, what they hadn’t experienced..

My motto : dont knock it till You try it.

And look at me now, i found what we as the human race has been searching for all our lives, the true meaning of life, what are we supposed to be between birth and death, how can i be free, this is it these 30 minutes of euphoria.

She opens her eyes and finally looks up, the liberation is over, she is back on the front lines, the war isn’t over yet and she has to look around and find that reality goes no where, it is the one thing you can rely on, never to change..

At her right side is her mother, who is asleep on the couch. To her left is her little daughter, the love of her life.

Who am i?! My name is Eric, i am what you call a grim reaper and as i tell this story i am about to take Alice to her new reality.

This article is about the sensation and aftermath of abusing prescription drugs.

A grey situation

What am i doing here? what was i thinking would happen if i came here? Is this what i really want?

Am just sitted on the edge of this old “skul” couch with brown and cream prints on it, looking a like mutant tiger on its last legs.

Am here sitted at the corner watching a tv series i don’t even like. The person i came to see, couldnt be any more interested in me than the show, which is pre-loaded on a flash drive. I still wonder, why am i here?

Am here sitted at the corner, just dropping glanses at this person who invited me here, hoping they will notice my dismay. She looks at me and tucks herself tighter on the other corner. I avert my gaze towards the tv to this outrageously fake and scripted reality tv that has been chosen over me.

I glance at my phone, go through the messages i wish i had received. My phone is dying, what will i do after it dies,i wonder . I see a “blant” passed through my field of vision. Its said that the shortest distance between two point is a straight line, i have never felt as curved as i am right now.

I glance forward and glare at the smoke as it disappears from vision.”i wish that was me, right now ” look at me feeling jealous over smoke. Pathetic!! . Is this what they meant when they told me i should get out more?? What’s the fun in it?? I could have been curled up in bed and watching something i actually enjoy right now.

Check my phone once more, i get a message. How glorious, now i got someone to talk to. The message is from someone i love but they dont love me back(its life,what can you do). I dont know how to react, should i be supportive or say what i actually feel??

I decide to be supportive, write a sentence words i dont mean and go offline. Now i am completely alone in a room full of people.

I am sure we have all experienced this. I am no one special but we all wanna be treated like we are special.

Am about to head home, this was a bust ,never doing it again. I Am sticking to my comfort zone.

The End

Where Right meets right…

Its a little after 7am in the morning. The peeping sun is coming to full view like a 2 year old playing hide and seek. The thick orange glare being emitted as the cracking of outstretched bones is heard accompanied by a distant yawn lacking any conviction with sorrow as its backbone.Yes!! Today is the day.. The final day to actually see the love of my life. The most important person in the world to me. The one who checks all my boxes.

Its been a long road filled with happiness and the occasional angry spats, all lovers have this experience, so am not telling you something new.

By now am fully dressed and haven’t even gotten the chance to enjoy the sunrise, for who cares right? I was born and it was there and i will die and leave there! That’s how inconsequential my life is to a sunset and a sunrise.I walk through those white walls in the morning, looking at nothing but the floor, accidentally bump into a beautiful woman wearing all white clothes with a navy blue jacket. I say my apologies without looking at her face and move onwards, for i have seen a couple of times. My destination is clear, the heaviness in my heart is also clear and the tantrum am gonna throw after this is also clear.

Then james blunt pops into my head :

Good bye my lover , goodbye my friend.

You have been the one, you have been the one for me…

I start to breakdown but i am a man, men don’t cry in public. You find a quiet corner with your bottle of whiskey and blame it on the liquor.I enter the room. It quiet, just little machine noices in the background playing on a rhythm. Its a sign of the times i say, while i approach the white coat. We don’t exchange pleasantries, like who has time for that shit..

I say in a shaky voice,

It’s time , but i don’t know i can handle this..

Response; with an arm on my shoulder,

any last words?

I node, to imply i dont.

As the life support plug is pulled by the doctor and i see the love of my life die infront of my eyes…. Her last words are,

Thank you My son…

Mpenzi merimela

We’ve been together for more than a decade now. We have had our ups and downs. The downs taking the trophy but hey, it’s not a competition.

I’ve been thinking about us and our coexistence and it’s become apparent that you have forsaken me. Luck is no longer by my side and so are you. I worry that, if i go you will forget me. I will be just another status in your phone to showcase to your contact list, my existence with you and the experiences we shared will be conveyed in a few words at the bottom of my picture.” R.I.P ,YOU WERE A GOOD SOUL”

It is said that we as humans die twice, once is when they bury in the grave and the second is the last time someone mentions your name.

We had something special, we talked about our 10yr,20yr even 30yr plans with the depiction of us being together. But now all i feel is me pushing myself onto you as you gently try to shrug me off, maybe the love is still there, maybe am being tested, i dont know what to think anymore. Ooh Merimela can you just be clear for once. As clear as day and night as clear as my bladder after a couple of beers. I have done everything you have asked of me but i don’t see anyway out of this corner I’ve been thrust into.

Dear Merimela please give me a sign, you owe me that much.

To.

Life aka Merimela

From.

A leaf blown by your breeze.

A step too early

What’s happening ? I feel like my heart is beating out of my chest ,It feels hot and humid as i feel the sweat accumulating , my vision is getting blurry, i can’t seem to think straight, my voice is all croaky and my knees feel weak.

I keep playing down different scenarios in my mind but when am i going to put them to use? Which one am i gonna choose ?

“Take heart, be strong, you can do this!” (words to self)

I lift my head, look straight at my destination ,take a deep calming breath.

Innnnnnnnn ..

Outtttttttttt ..

Its now or never, can’t let chances like these just pass me by? What’s the worse that could happen?

I stop and take a discreet sniff of my self. Just to confirm my cologne “on flick“. Ever notice that when you try to smell yourself for reassurance you always smell the sweat that isn’t actually there? Or is that just me?

Now i have a speck of understanding about the phrase “long walk to freedom”. I have deemed myself worthy ,maybe its the confidence I’ve collected in that instance or the adrenaline running through my veins, but whichever one it is ,am glad its giving me a boost.

Hi, my name is Lucy (said in a shaky voice)

Nice to meet you Lucy, i go by Malik. How may i be of assistance?

Ummmh, am just gonna go right ahead and say it, i think you are attractive and was wondering if you’d be willing to go on a date with me?

Wow, thanks Lucy, I’d love to.

Great, can i get your phone number so as to link up?

Its 07…….

Ill call or text you. Bye(walks away with a swing of satisfaction)

“If you want something go get it, times are changing ” now I’ve become a motivational speaker.

“excuse me miss, would you like something else”

Sh**t, i just realized i was trapped in one of my scenarios. I look up to find the chance that i didn’t take was walking away.

What should i do?